Ok, ok, ok. Now you guys can't tell me that any of you out there actually enjoy listening to these new Gwen Stefani and Fergie songs they're playing on the radio these days. I mean really. I just had to sit through Fergie's latest "hit" and holy shit, I'm dumber for having listened to all three tortuous minutes of it. Does Fergie think that she's in a spelling bee for chrissake?!?! Why is it that every word in every single one of her songs has to be spelled? And incorrectly?!?! Is that her target audience? Deaf people who failed kindergarten???? And another thing. Is her new album even music? I thought for sure that Gwen had cornered the bad music market when she threw in "The Sound of Music" in her last song but Fergie is giving her a good run for her money with this latest trainwreck of hers. And oh man, not to bring back painful memories, but London Bridge honey? What were you thinking! I've heard better lyrics come out of my ass after bad sushi.
On another note, some of you may or may not know that I'm on myspace. Well, from time to time, I get these lame ass guys who send me absolutely ridiculous messages. A few weeks ago there was this one guy who calls himself "Jerry". Our email messages went like this:
From: jerry
Date: Nov 24 2006 5:15 PM
i would love to do you tonight can we meet
From: (¯`·¸·´¯) BRANDITO, Esq.
Date: Nov 24 2006 5:16 PM
Nice pickup line... you really get girls w/that?
From: jerry
Date: Nov 24 2006 5:18 PM
yes i do
can we meet tonight
From: (¯`·¸·´¯) BRANDITO, Esq.
Date: Nov 24 2006 5:20 PM
no
From: jerry
Date: Nov 24 2006 5:24 PM
ok how about tomorrow
From: (¯`·¸·´¯) BRANDITO, Esq.
Date: Nov 24 2006 5:25 PM
how about no
From: jerry
Date: Nov 24 2006 5:26 PM
ok just give me a jb
From: (¯`·¸·´¯) BRANDITO, Esq.
Date: Nov 24 2006 5:27 PM
a what? "jb"?!?!?! if you're talking about a "bj" you must be dyslexic or something and i don't do dyslexics....sorry kiddo.
From: jerry
Date: Nov 24 2006 5:30 PM
yes bj i am not dyslexic .but i am big thick and hard .do you swallow
From: BRANDITO, Esq.
Date: Nov 24 2006 5:33 PM
Well thanks for informing me about your penile beauty and all of its glory. Unfortunately for you my dear, you will never know the answer to your question. Good luck getting laid tonight though. Apparently you need it very badly.
From: jerry
Date: Nov 24 2006 5:37 PM
not as bad as you do.
Well today I got this:
From: jerry
Date: Dec 21 2006 5:25 AM
when can we meet
You've got to be kidding me.....
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I totally agree w/ the Gwen Stefani comment, although I don't mind Fergie's stuff as much (it does bug me when she misspells words). I'm esp. disappointed w/ Gwen because she started out in No Doubt w/ really strong ska type stuff and now she's effin yodeling on her pop tracks! What the hell?
My dog's name is Jerry. I try not to let him be alone by the computer. Sorry.
Post a Comment